Some not great things have been happening in my life around here. Basically, my side of the family is completely imploding. I seem to be the only person in our family on speaking terms with everyone, which makes for some drama and mixed emotions all over the place. I feel bad for every person in my family right now because we all can't just seem to relax, let go and enjoy each other.
In the middle of all of the drama, we've had a full house while sorting through all of this turmoil. We don't have a very large house - I'm sure many would consider it a very nice home, even more would consider it tiny, and when you put four adults and a toddler into our home, it's not very big at all. In fact, it's downright claustrophobic at times.
I hate that this is happening to me right now. Yes, me. Selfish old me.
I have to try and help keep the pieces of the puzzle somewhat together, be the therapist for 3 of my 4 family members and keep a brave face for everyone. Because there really is not one person or one specific event to blame for the uproar in my family. It's years of miscommunication and bad attitudes that have left everyone with chips on their shoulders, horrible tastes in their mouths and, quite frankly, a deep funk and depression that is oh so hard to see happen to those that you love.
For the first time in my life, I really feel like the adult in our family. Not the baby sister. Or the last born. Or that spoiled little princess that so many people like to think that I am.
I feel like I'm trying to be the rock for so many people and it's hard. So fucking hard.
So in the middle of my posts on the fun things we do, how much I dote on my son, how I'm trying to clean and organize this house. Please know - I'm human just like everyone else. I've got the family drama like a lot of people. My life isn't a fairytale (and, honestly, I don't think I could handle it being one). So occasionally I'm going to come on here to vent about the not so amazing times in my life to counterbalance the amazing stuff that I do get to be a part of.
Because this is my life. This is my blog. And this is what I choose to do.
Good, bad, ugly. Happy, sad.
This is my real life.
**And I want to give a special shout-out to the U. While I don't always show my appreciation, he's been extraordinary right now. He helps me with anything I need, supports me and is taking all of these changes in stride. I really could not ask for anything more.**